"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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