My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
