She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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