home. puking in laundry basket.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
