i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
