I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
