my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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