HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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