Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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