please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
