I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
