lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
