I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
home. puking in laundry basket.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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