i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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