Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
