Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
