Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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