She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
