Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
