forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
