We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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