True but thats because hes a fetus.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
