people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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