Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I fill condoms, not promises.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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