haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
