He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
