8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
