Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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