R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
