Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We are all done wearing pants today
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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