What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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