tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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