i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
