If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
