The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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