he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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