ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
