he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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