Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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