well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
