I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
