I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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