a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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