So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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