After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
