best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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