One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
do herpes really smell.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
