At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
