So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
