If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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