So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
