I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
