So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
